Remember How I Moved? So That Didn't Work Out

Two months and two days ago I moved in with a roommate. One month ago I moved back in with my parents.

I probably should have known. When I got there on moving day to discover the cleaning she promised to do hadn't happened, or when I had to live on mac and cheese for a week before she made any room in the fridge, or when I had to pitch in to clean half the fridge (something that was I promised would be done before I got there), or when I had to step over dirty underwear in the bathroom every morning, or when I got lectured like a child for buying too many rolls of toilet paper at once, or when I had to endure endless snark about my Keurig, or when I got lectured for sliding the couch less than a foot. Or maybe when I texted to warn her that some things had been slid around when I mopped the entire apartment and got a reply telling me that was "not cool" and to move everything back to where it had been.

But no.

I tried to stick it out.

Until I committed the horrifying error of coming home exhausted (after two nights in a row of getting in at 11 PM and getting up to leave again at 6 AM) and forgot to bring a box in from the hallway. Oh, the horror. That was when I got lengthy texts accusing me of treating everyone else like a servant (you know, minus that whole mopping the entire place and always being the one who takes the trash out thing). Actually, the texts came AFTER she pounded on my bedroom door after midnight yelling about it.

A box.

Then my reply was to remind her we'd had a conversation about her lecturing me. And she said it wasn't going to work out. So I called my family. She wanted to discuss when I would be leaving. I discussed it. With my father, and then my brother when he fortunately was available with his car to help me get my stuff out.

I was evicted, via text, for forgetting we had a package in the hallway.

By someone who is rigid and unyielding, but simultaneously disgusting and a complete slob. So I'm staying with my folks again, and next time I find a place I will be living ALONE.

I lasted about the same amount of time the Lutz's put up with 112 Ocean Avenue. I'm not sure which scenario is worse.

I'm Moving!

Yesterday I found a room. Obviously I'm not going to give away the exact location, internet creepers, but it's in Queens, and it's a small but cute room that's a really good price with someone I already know.

The block.

The room.

Closet.

Jumping the Gun

I admit it: I haven't even found an apartment yet and I packed some stuff today. Not a lot, and nothing I can't live without for awhile if that's what it takes, but I was bored and I had both energy and boxes, so I went for it. Basically, I just took some things off the walls.

Before:

After:

It was mainly taking the tchotchkes off those shelves and cleaning off my desk. I also reorganized inside that silver drawer thing and the two black boxes (under the Eleventh Doctor) on my desk.


I really hope this place tomorrow works out.

Not a Scam!

I have plans on Saturday to go see an apartment with an available room. The other people living there sound awesome, the rent is reasonable and the location is good.

Living alone was my top choice, but if these ladies are as friendly and chill as they seem via email, it could be good for me. My one fear with living solo was becoming a hermit, so maybe with a couple of people around that won't be as big a risk.

The only thing I haven't asked is about pets. Zelda is staying with my parents (she's too attached to my dad not to live with him, and I've made my peace with that), but I was thinking that I'd like to get a cat at some point. I guess I'll just have to find out and if they say no then I'll decide if it's a dealbreaker.

The Hunt Begins (with scams!)

So I'm looking for an apartment. I've been staying at my parents' place for *mumblemumble* years and with the start of my Ph.D. program, it's time to move on. I should be getting a corrected award letter soon (back story: LIU had me in the system as an undergrad, so the first financial aid letter I got was wrong), so I started sending emails and making calls about ads I saw. One of them I knew was too good to be true (a 2 BR in Queens for $850 a month, ha) but I sent an email anyway because I was morbidly curious about it. This was the response (names and contact info redacted):

Hi

I and my darling wife are very happy to inform you that the apartment  is still very much available for rent, my intentions and plans is to give out  the apartment to a Reliable and Responsible person  that would be able to take  proper care of the lovely home. It's indeed  a lovely and comfortable home and available to move in as soon as possible, i pray that May the Peace of the almighty Lord be with you for  considering my home.

Fees needed to move in:
Monthly Rent: $850 (Including Utilities)
Security / Deposit:  $500.
2 Bedrooms
2 Baths

APARTMENT FEATURES:
2  Bedrooms
Hardwood Floors
Big Living Room, Kitchen
Brand New Cabinets, Electric Cooker & Refrigerator

I  would like you to know that i am giving this lovely apartment out to you because i have just been appointed by the United States of America Government as the head of ANTI-TERRORIST monitoring squad (Zone D), and i  have been posted to West Africa for special duty in the international airport so as to search and to monitor every one traveling to the United  States of  America to avoid another terrorist attack. My appointment will last for 5 years before rounding up the program.

I would like you  to fill the below  details:

==================================================================================================================
RENT  APPLICATION FORM
FIRST NAME:_________
MIDDLE  NAME:_________________
LAST  NAME:__________________
AGE:_____
PROFESSION:________________
TIME ON  YOUR  JOB:______
PHONE_________
(CELL)PHONE_____
(WORK)PHONE____
(HOME)_________________
KIDS___  (YES/NO), HOW MANY________
PRESENT ADDRESS:_______
HOW LONG?_______
WHY  ARE YOU LEAVING? IF THIS APARTMENT IS BEING GIVEN TO YOU,
HOW LONG DO YOU  INTEND STAYING?_______
WHEN DO YOU INTEND MOVING IN?________
IF YOU HAVE A  PET?_____-
DO YOU SMOKE?______________
DO YOU DRINK?_________
DO YOU  WORK LATE NIGHT?____
HOW SOON CAN YOU HAVE THE DEPOSIT  PAYMENT SENT TO  ME:___
HOW SOON DO YOU WANT TO RECEIVE THE KEYS AND DOCUMENTS OF THE  HOUSE:______________
==================================================================================================================

I  will need this information because my family and i won't be moving back  to the apartment whenever we're back, there is no Registration fee. The  Security Deposit would be needed as a Security Bond in order for the keys and the Lease Contract agreement to be sent to you. Electric Bills and water bills have been paid for, so i would also need to send the receipts to you.

I would like you to know that you are free to contact me at any time. After i receive these details, i would get back to you soonest and then let you know my terms.

Feel free to contact me on my direct Phone Number:  [two overseas phone numbers, which is a GIANT red flag]

Greetings from my lovely wife.

I hope to hear from you  soonest.

Thanks
[redacted]

I also got another reply that wanted my credit score info before they'd move forward and linked me to an obvious scam site to get it (one that redirected me to a Google search instead of actually going to a site). I guess I'm 0/2 on the apartment hunt so far.